The "root" of evil...

Just before logging on, I was ranting and blabbing away because I was so pissed at my grandmother. Like most Filipino families, I live with an extended family. As the only "single" apo (grandchild) left, I have the fortunate-unfortunate task of living with my grandmother. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love my grandmother, we just don't get along. At all. Anyway, what was so darned annoying is the triviality of my annoyance this evening...it started with pandesal. I don't get the idea of having to lock up food in her room refrigerator where it is so inconvenient to get some when we have a big one in the kitchen. I never got the concept of "our" food in regards to the maids. In the Philippines, most homes have maids and for some reason, there is a clear distinction between "our" food and "their" food. This is something I can never understand...anyway, it pissed me off that she refused to listen to my point about it being inconvenient and difficult, as well as insulting, that she has to keep the food away for fear that the maids take it. For me, it's just food. And I'd like to believe our maids are not that trivial that they'd risk thier jobs for a piece of bread, right??? So there I was ranting and raving when I read Doubleknot's blog on getting mad. It made me think of a comment my friend made just last night.

I've been out of commission for a few days because of a horribly, terribly painful toothache. I had gone in for a simple dental procedure when my dentist accidentally hit a nerve. Although it is a possible side effect or complication that occurs, it doesn't erase the fact that I was in extreme agony. I actually am still in quite some pain now and the difficult part is that pain relievers are not offering much relief anymore. My nerves are screaming for morphine!!!! In the height of my suffering, I said "what have I done to deserve this torture???" my friend replied: "it's karma for your evilness". When I asked her to explain, she said it's karma for my inability to hold my tongue. She said this was a reminder that I need to keep my tongue in check because I tend to let it get the better of me. When I stop and think about it, she may be right, hehehe. I guess for me, my mouth is "the root of all evil"...and though I am not saying I will not verbalize my anger anymore, I can try to be a little more cautious in ranting away...after all, the tongue can be a double edged sword. Likewise, once hurtful, angry words are said, it can never be taken away.