What I Learned in 2008, What I Want to Learn in 2009 (Christmas List 11 and 12/12)

As 2008 comes to a close, I decided to sit and take pause as I reflect back on lessons learned in the past year, as well as to look forward to things I want to learn, relearn, unlearn or master for 2009 as a way to top of my 12 lists of 12's for Christmas.

So, here it goes:

January taught me COURAGE to face up to new challenges. Perhaps this may be cliché, as the start of any year would bring about that to anyone. For me, however, working through a lot of my personal demons (which started a few months earlier) was really a major challenge.

In February I learned the fine art of SELF-ACCEPTANCE. To be fair, this is still a lesson I continue to learn on a day to day basis, but it was in February when I think I really began to appreciate appreciating myself, faults and all.

March brought about the lesson of HOPE. For the first time in almost an entire year, March 2008 brought back to me the notion that the sun does rise and that there is a rainbow after the rain. After a tumultuous few months, it was becoming difficult to be able to hope that things would get better, but come March, the rising of the sun started.

I learned in April the value of PERSEVERANCE. I learned that persevering is not limited to physical tasks, nor just mental ones, but even to emotions and feelings. I learned to persevere my way through my thesis and through the difficult task of soul work.

For May my important lesson was FAITH. I always used to think I knew what faith was…wasn’t it just the ability to believe in things unseen? I realized, however, that many times I take it for granted. It hit me that faith was not just believing the way I was believing, you know, in my head. It had to come from the heart.

The real meaning of JOY came to me in June. Through my return to teaching preschool, I was reminded of what it really means to have joy. It is not in the material things I have around me, nor is it bought by money, but it is finding pleasure in the simplest things.

In July I figured out what it means to have PASSION. Not only did I rediscover teaching, but I rekindled my love for writing. I’ve always dabbled in it every now and then, but through a blogger event in July, I remembered what it was like to blog, thus, my blog was reborn. Passion indeed.

One of my biggest secrets (and one that people don’t believe when the find out) is that I am super shy. While it can’t be seen by others, on the inside, I am quivering inside. In August, this truth was challenged to its greatest level. I had to present a study in a conference where the top brass of my department as well as my fellow junior faculty were in attendance. It’s one thing to teach a class where you can wing your way through things and act like you really know what you’re talking about, but there?!? OMG. The lesson I learned, however, is to believe I can do it. The gift of SELF-CONFIDENCE is what I take from August of 2008.

In September I got to practice the art of TRUSTING MY GUT. Oprah says this is our internal life-saving device. I suppose she’s right, as you just know in your gut when things are right. Anyway, I say practice because I still have to really learn this virtue. In September this was challenged in me as I had to stick to my guns and trust my instincts that what I had done was right. I had to hold back a couple of students from graduating due to very valid reasons, but it was difficult to hold firm to that decision. I almost wavered a couple of times, especially since that was the easy thing to do, but in the end, I’m glad I stuck to my gut.

In October I learned what I really means to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY. I always thought I’d learn this from my kids, but this was taught to me by Bubba. He continues to show me what “unconditional” really means, and how it feels on the inside too.

What did I learn for November? I think more than anything it was PATIENCE. I always say patience is a virtue I can often live with out, but I was reminded that I have to take things one day at a time and I can’t hurry others to keep pace with me.

The most fun lesson came this December, starting from my hosting gig at the PsychConsult 7th anniversary party, to the busyness of Baby Cakes baking, all the way to the psychology department Christmas party and to the JRAP (absent kasi si T and S!!!) food trip: SPONTANEITY. I don’t like surprises, not knowing what comes next is anxiety-provoking, and lack of structure is often frustrating, but I learned this month that on occasion, spontaneity is fun.

Those are the twelve important lessons I’ve learned for the past year. For 2009 what I’d like to learn, relearn, unlearn or master include the following:

First and foremost I NEED to learn SELF-RESTRAINT and IMPULSE CONTROL, especially when it comes to spending money. Of course don’t hold me to this if I buy an iMac in 2009 hehehe.

I think I also need to learn the art of LISTENING better in 2009. As a teacher and psychologist, this is definitely and important skill. I’d also like to learn is EMPATHY without getting over-involved, TOLERANCE without being apathetic, and WORKING WITH OTHERS without losing my identity nor over-imposing mine.

Perhaps one very important life skill I want to master in 2009 is PATIENCE. As mentioned earlier, it’s something I’ve always needed to work on. I also have to learn DETERMINATION to grit my teeth through icky tasks.

If there is one thing I need to unlearn it’s INDECISION or QUESTIONING MY ABILITY. But most of all what I want to learn this 2009 is to LIVE to the FULLEST and LOVE without fear *wink, wink*.