Home Improvement

About a week and a half ago, I finally gathered up enough will to get out of my room and grab a cup of coffee. I had spent the entire day in bed nursing a little headache and a huge heartache while watching episode after episode of Ally McBeal. In many of the episodes, Ally would be sippig a cup of coffee from Starbucks, hence the craving for coffee. So I got up, brushed my hair and put on a clean outfit then got in my car and drove the five minute drive to "my" Starbucks.

When I got there, I was devastated!!! It was boarded up and a sign hung saying they were closed for renovation. Talk about bitin!!!

Anyway, yesterday I drove by the area and saw that they had resumed business already and so at the spur of a moment, I decided to park my car and hang out while working on a report I was writing. Although the renovations were minor, the place felt spruced up and more vibrant. As I sat with my laptop in front of me, I remembered all the times I had spent studying, working or just whiling away time there. A few years ago, when it first opened accross the street from my mothers house, I spent about 4 out of 7 afternoons there for hours! I started reminicsing about friends now gone, moments passed by, and yes, aches and pains made better over a cup of coffee.

I sat there, somewhat wiser than I was when I first set foot in the doors of that Starbucks branch, and realized that things really have changed. I no longer am just a student trying to study for my comps, or a lonely young girl mending a broken heart. I was not the sick, skinnier version of myself, and though the weight gain may not be something I appreciate, I realized that it wasn't so bad.

Just like walls that need fresh coat of paint, or couches that need new upholstery, even old spaces that just need to be moved around, we need some home improvement ourselves. At least for myself. For example, I was whining recently about how I just couldn't get things done the way I used to do it. I guess it was all the grime and dirt cluttering up my system. The anger, resentment, disappointments...all of these became stains on my wall of optimism. Because of it, there was no brightness and pleasure around.

While it may not be as easy to clean up my act as it was in Starbucks, I am inspired to at least try. Slowly, I guess, I will find a renewed brightness. But for now, I'll start with throwing out my trash. Let's see how that spruces up my personal rooms.

Things do change. And change is good. It may not be easy, but then again, who ever said life was easy?